Bridges

Have you ever heard the saying “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all”? There’s a phrase similar in the blogging world, suggesting if you have nothing to write about, do not write at all. So I’d like to apologise for my absence. However, I’m posting today to share with you my recent thoughts about friendship and growing up.

I often find myself sitting indoors on a Friday night, browsing through facebook profiles belonging to people I went to high school with. They’ve changed just as much as I have and the hundreds of drunken photographs prove as such. My lack of social life recently has led me to believe that perhaps I’m watching life pass me by. However upon thinking further about it, I’ve made a realisation. If I could change the situation I was in, would I be seen with the people who I stalk on facebook? No. High school was one of the worst times of my life and the people there are some of the worst I’ve met.

In my early teens my mum would constantly be saying “If they told you to put your head in a fire, would you do it?” Although I’d shake my head, I really meant yes. In the past, I’d taken home dozens of empty alcohol bottles to cover for a ‘friends’ alcohol problem (which of course got me into trouble). I told my ‘friends’ that I’d had sex because I thought everyone else was doing it too and helped tease the science teacher because everyone else was doing it. I insisted that I had to have the trendiest variations of the school uniform and the latest technology. Looking back, my ‘friends’ weren’t ‘friends’ and I often found myself changing to try and please them. It’s funny, as over the years a number of the ‘cool’ people or the ‘bullies’, or the people I tried to impress from high school have contacted me. Messages such as “You got hot”, “you’re a babe” and “are you single?” have come and gone over the years as I’ve lost weight, grown and matured. Going out with those people wouldn’t make me happy. Maybe I haven’t gotten thousands of drunken photographs with every person in a club, but the people I choose to spend my time with, I trust and love. I know they like me for me. Luckily when I started college I was happy to express myself the way I wanted to and enjoyed life being myself, instead of someone who I thought I had to be. It was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

I’ve often been ashamed to say that some of my closest friends I’ve never met in real life, but have had the pleasure of talking to almost every day for the past seven years. There’s a social stigma that plagues internet relationships and friendships, in fear that the people we're talking to aren’t who they say they are. Worried my ‘real life’ friends and family would judge my ‘online’ friends and family, I’ve tried to keep them separate. However in recent months, I’ve been happy to be open about who I talk to as I’ve found the people I love have never judged me and never would.

I’m not a clubbing person. I’d prefer to stargaze alone in a field in the middle of nowhere, or curl up with a book, or stay in with a bottle of wine and a pizza with my best friends. I prioritise looking after my family, finding work and university over other things, and it often means I can’t see my friends as much as I’d like to. I’ve lost touch with some people that I miss dearly. Therefore, technology is a great thing. I’ve recently gotten back in touch with Sefton and Braden. Both are very important to me and I’m proud of where they’re at in their lives right now. I’m also really enjoying getting to know ‘Liam as himself’ and not ‘Liam from work’, even if he does text me at ridiculous times in the morning. I miss Hana and Lorraine and the fun we have when we’re together but know that they're always at the end of the phone.

I’d like to mention, in the presence of everyone who reads my blog, who I like to consider my best online friends. Ashley, Mary, Jay, Adric, Dex and Mish for being amazing to me despite the distance we have between us. Years have gone by and if I’ve ever needed anyone, they’ve always been there to support me, or tell me to ‘shut the fuck up and stop being a pansy’ (thanks Mish <3).

I’ll leave you with a link to the song 'Stigmatised' by The Calling and a snippet of the lyrics that mean the most to me. I want the acoustic version of this song to be played at my wedding as it’s one of my favourite songs for a number of reasons. It reminds me that time and distance can be overcome for love and friendship, whether you’re 10 miles away or 10,000. Because after all, friendship is still friendship and love is friendship set alight.

“We live our lives on different sides,
But we keep together you and I,
Just live our lives, stigmatised.
We'll live our lives, We'll take the punches everyday.
We'll live our lives I know we're gonna find our way.
I believe in you, even if no one understands.
I believe in you, and I don't really give a damn.
Stigmatised.
We live our lives on different sides,
But we keep together you and I.
We live our lives on different sides
Stigmatised.”

In my next blog post, I’ll be introducing you to Natalie Chenard, an extremely talented artist and great friend. You’ll be able to learn a little more about her, read her advice for aspiring artists and take a sneaky peek at her work. Be sure to check it out.